Now apart from the fact that Facebook and Twitter have robbed me off my privacy (ok, so I opted to give it to them) and also my ability to think of anything else to do with my time (inevitably I simply log on and wait for something to happen), Facebook has recently robbed me of something else. My personality.

Well, sort of. They’ve robbed me of my interests. The labels of things I want to be associated with, the tags that say who I am without delving into my inner psyche.

It all started with a stupid little pop up…

“Mark, please link your profile to a load of crap based on some dubious contextual analysis.”

Um, no thanks Facebook, if it’s all the same to you I’m a bit busy and just want to crack on.

“Well, that’s  not a problem Mr Fletcher, but in that case we’ll have to delete all your interests”.

Um, if it’s all the same to you I’d rather you didn’t do that please Facebook, they are my interests after all.

“Well link to these lovely suggested ‘activities’, ‘interests’ and ‘likes’ then please. Look ‘five a side’, you like that don’t you?”.

Er, well yeah I do, but then it looks like I’m linking to some global community of five a side lovers and weirdos that I’ve not even joined, and I’m quite alright for meeting any more weirdos thanks. I’ll just hit the back button…

[FACEBOOK ERROR SCREEN]: Contact form submission error…blah blah blah…

Bollocks. [TYPES: www.facebo....CLICKS: http://www.facebook.com/...]

Cue blank Facebook profile of a poor monkey with no hobbies or interests

So now I feel like a fool for shouting “I’m not bloody linking to all this crap”. This bloomin’ pop up seemed intent on making me sign up to these global communities or sacrifice my identity! Through sheer ignorance I’ve avoided selling my soul, but for my sins I’ve now ended up a culturally impotent sloth (according to my empty Facebook page anyway) with nothing to do with my long, pointless days then whittle them away thinking up not-very-witty status updates on my social spaces.

Their are no prisoners in Zuckerberg’s quest to take over the world with Facebook, only losers like me who are left identity-less.